Twas the night before Easter

I felt much more calm and focused after watching the Tommy Angelo video. That, combined with feeling centered about my game while playing online, made me decide to head to the casino today. I really wanted to know if I could play my best before I get to Las Vegas tomorrow - I've never played poker there and I decided I'd rather blow some money here if my tilt play attacked again and then just be in Vegas for a mad (non-poker) holiday.

The first substantive hand I was involved in I mis-played AK: too soft p/f and ended losing 85 of my 300 stack. (Max buy-in for $2/5 here is $300) Played a few more hands, took small pots - up to 280 when I got AA. Played it excellently to get all the chips in on the turn heads up (7s4hJs Qd), river Qc and I lose to Qs9c. NH. I told the dealer to lock my seat and went out for a breather.

I did a tilt-check: all my mind was focused on was how I wanted to be in that spot again and again with seat 9. And a couple of other good reasons for being at the table: there were three other players overvaluing their hands besides seat 9 and all were willing and had done full re-buys and this kind of table was exactly what had led me to good sessions before my tilt-capade. So I got $300 more out of the machine. Yes, I know casino machines charge an arm and a leg and your firstborn but I thought the worst poker decision would be to leave.

The table broke after another hour or so of me not doing much and I sat at a table that looked just as good - except for one reg I'd seen before, quite the table captain with a loud voice and an opinion on every hand, lots of gold jewelry to go with his manicure, but he's not rude or bad-tempered by any means. He's actually quite a good player and a great reader of other players' hands. He's occasionally caught out by a fish making one of those bizarre winning hands, or folding to what seems to have to be a superior hand, but he doesn't berate them so I can live with him.

Tonight he had K4 on a 4d4cQd10s10d board and folded to a monster re-raise only to find the winning fish proudly showing his Ad6d. Fish had nearly folded on the flop, and actually play was stopped for a minute while players discussed it with dealer, but it fairly was decided since he hadn't released his cards, he was indeed allowed to re-check them like he wanted to and call the big re-raise he was facing. Table captain was (obv) one of the players asserting that since fish hadn't released his cards, they were live. Table captain did tank quite a while before his fold on the river but couldn't figure what he was beating. He never thought the fish was quite that much of a trout to be certain his flush was the nuts (and neither did the rest of us).

Anyway, that dynamic aside, my first real pot after a few limpers I raised to $35 w/ AcJc in LP, got two callers, saw Js 5c 7h, pot is ~$120 and I get donk-bet into by a reg for $75. He's a laggy older Asian player (always frowning but doesn't say much) - I tanked for a bit: He could have a set, 2pair, a worse Ace - really I'd seen everything with this guy, and especially that he likes to bet people off their hands. I figured I couldn't do anything but shove/fold with my stack. (sat with something >$300 after last broken table) I shoved. He called. J hits turn (Table Captain looks at me and says: you've got it now) river 10. Frown turns over 5d7c. Bit of an iffy way for me to double up, but I'll take it!

After that I continued to sit up and breathe and play well and also get lucky. Stacked a really nice old gent (about 80yrs old) who played quite well mostly but got too tricky with KK: I was in CO w/Qd10d, pot limped around entire table to SB who raised to $35 (into pot of ~$37 after rake), the bet was called in all but one spot so I called too and my gent on the button flatted with his K's as well. Flop came Qx10x6x, ck ck ck ck... to me. I bet out, old gent raises, I Re, he shoves and we're all in and I finish with a house to his KK. Felt kind've bad that it was him over anyone else because we'd been chatting along happily, but mostly I felt great of course.

I went on a good heater and ended well up.

Session stats:

Duration: 6:16
Buy-In: $600.
Cash-out: $1,435.
+$835.

Overall:

P/L: +$3,340.
$/hour: $15.39
Hours: 217

My heater was of the nature that a player I recognized (as a person I didn't much like tbh, obnoxious with a 'poker' baseball cap on) kept saying to the rest of the table: "You guys have sh** for brains when you keep playing with seat 6 in the hand! hahaha!" and the like.

It annoyed me even a bit after I left, but then I realized a guy like that was perfect - if he's so convinced of poker voodoo then he's someone I should play with again.

Anyway, playing well and spotting when I wasn't playing well and adjusting etc. leaves me feeling relaxed about Vegas tomorrow - but still on guard against the tilt-capade. I guess I'm also looking forward to seeing what celebrations Las Vegas creates for Easter LOL!

Learning to breathe

First: my interview went great, they even liked the fact that I was a poker player! I am told to wait and hear by early/mid next week about whether I'm chosen to meet with the Director of Ops and officially hired. The Human Resources Manager pulled me aside to kindly say, "Wear a suit when you meet with the Director - he thinks professionalism = suit." so I'm pretty confident

Second: I feel very lucky at this moment! I was browsing around different poker threads and sites - actually tracing someone I perceived as a troll on a poker forum in a thread I like started it off. I wanted to know what the guy was like that would come into someone's poker goals thread and be, well, dismissive is the kindest way I could say it. I traced his posts to other threads and so forth and in the end that search led me well outside the box. Eventually I ended up on Tommy Angelo's website and for signing up to his mailing list you get a free download of the last of his video series on the path to poker enlightenment - and it's called Tiltlessness! I've listened/watched half of it now (about 40 mins so far) and can't believe I found something I really needed to hear.

My current goal (besides getting some back-up income) is to play my best in Las Vegas when I head there on Sunday. I think the TA vid is going to help loads with that goal.

Anyway, before I keep rambling on and sound even more like a guppygroupie, I'm going back to finish the rest of the vid.

Bankroll Spankroll

I've been asked what kind of money I started this adventure with.

My bankroll was the $5,725.00 profit I opened with. I hadn't taken a downswing of more than 4-5 buy-ins and thought this would be fine AND I had another source of income then. I didn't take into account how I react to losses that have no possibility of being replenished except by playing.

I think once I get another source of income to settle me I'll be able to play correctly again. But I still plan to move down in takes (no more $2/5 - $300buyins for awhile) until I build back up to a better level. This'll probably mean playing at the Bike, as the casinos near me are 2/5 or 1/3 only.

Two things coming up for me:

I have a callback/2nd interview today at 3pm for a great paying steady job that would put me in an excellent position to build my BR back up - which I've decided for me must build to at least $40k for me to feel right to quit.

I'm heading to Las Vegas on Sunday for three nights - my family's birthday present to me planned before I stopped playing in despair It's such an odd headwrecking thing - they've lost no confidence in me at all, even knowing the exact amount I'm down. It's only me who can't play right with money worries.

So, my prediction is, if I get told I'm hired, I play in Vegas and play well. Doesn't mean I'll win $ of course, but I definitely need a live session where I play well! That'd be a win for me.

I can't outplay myself

Well, it's been a rough couple of weeks. I haven't posted because I've been glooming badly - so far off my game I keep asking myself if I even have a game.

It took several losses for me to realize that as soon as I decided to play for a living I went on some kind of tilt - every chip became food I'd taken off my family's dinner table so to speak. And I started chasing those chips, trying to force hands in the worst way possible, and then misplaying hands so that I didn't get value. Suddenly the stakes I'd been comfortable with for months had become uncomfortable for me and I was playing like someone with Turrets who only shouts 'Raise! Call! Fold!' and only at the worst possible moments.

I've taken some time off the live tables - finally tested the waters yesterday by playing a few small things on Lock and suddenly my game returned to me.
I stuck $100 on there and just played a few micro things. But I felt like my game and my poker mind was back.

I knew my bankroll wasn't near enough to be fully rolled, but I didn't realize what a toll it would take on my game when it became reality that I wasn't just playing and making money at poker, I HAD to make money at poker. I don't know if I can really express what a mind f**k this was in so many ways - including letting so many people down.

So, I've been interviewing for part-time jobs as well for the last week. This should take the expenses edge off, and I'll go back to the local cash tables. In the meantime, I'll play micro S&Gs and MTTs online and stabilize myself again.

Live Session Stats:

P/L: +$2505.
$/hour: +11.87
hours: 211

online MTTs & S&Gs:

games: 5
profit: $5.05

So, family may say so (and continues to be ultra-supportive) but as the responsible bread winner I've realized I need to be better rolled to make it happen. Wish I'd been a little less stubborn - 10 buy-ins down and 6 losing sessions in a row... But I was so sure that because I knew I was off my game and what I was doing so horridly that I could out-play myself!

11 hours 2 hands

Well, that session could've gone better...

Hovered around the even mark for several hours - up $60, down $40 sort of thing. I was finding it tough getting anything really going, but still holding my own. Later in the night that changed in two hands with one 'inventive' player. Mad part is I had AQ both times.

First hand, I had AQoff in late pos wit ~$350; UG+1 had put in a blind raise to $10, UG+2 Re'd to $45, I flat called, villain flatted in SB, blind raiser folds, original raiser calls. Flop is Q47 rainbow, pot is ~$135: I bet $75, SB calls, UG+2 folds and I'm heads up with villain. Villain says to me: "What do you want to do? Do you want to check it down?" My previous experience with this (it happens often enough at these tables) is that the player asking this has a weak hand or a draw - as I was thinking how to respond the dealer dealt the turn and it seemed that window was closed when the SB bet out $35 into the ~$285 pot. Board was still rainbow and unconnected and I really wasn't too sure what he was doing so I flat called. River brought another blank, pot is ~$355. When SB checks to me I put him on a missed loose draw or weaker Q and I push my remaining chips - ~$145. Villain quickly calls and shows Q7. Hmmm.

I re-load to the max BI of $300, take down a couple of little pots and watch the villain from Q7 hand play every hand, any two cards and chip up quite nicely. Second and 'time to go home hand':

I'm in HJ w/AcQc. 2 limpers before me, I raise to $40... blah blah blah, when I hit my second pair on turn I'm sure I'm good this time heads up with good ol' out of position again villain, get in most of my $ on turn. Final board: A45Q9, no flush. Villain shows 2d3s and takes pot with the straight. I go home.

The table is still talking about the hands he's played when I leave and regs are hovering to jump in on that great action. I would've reloaded and kept at it because I do recognize there's profit to be made with the guy, but at this point I'm pretty tired and don't have the heart for it so I've decided tp fight on another day

Session stats:

Duration: 11:48
Buy-In: $700
Cash-out: $0
<$700>

Overall:

P/L: +$4305.00
$/hour: $24.05
Hours: 179

Learning Curve (part 3.14...)

I arrived at the San Manuel casino on Sunday a little tilted, because as I was driving I realized I'd made a maths error - my biggest loss to date was 5.33 BIs ($1600).
It was probably an omen for the session that followed.

Most notable moments for me:

I was down 5+ BIs after about hour 8. I took a break and walked outside for a bit. I've really learned a lot from Bart Hanson's Cash Plays podcast and one idea from him kept going in my head - if I was down from poor play - leave it for another day. But if I was stuck and still thought I was playing well and the opportunities were good - stay. I felt solid and, so I stayed.

I got even again and then into the positive by hour 12. I was enjoying the table (even through the earthquake!) including re-meeting a solid player/nice guy who I'd played with during my last long session at Morongo before Christmas.

I made two mistakes which eventually lead me to end the session and head home stuck again (down 2+ BIs <$720>) :

I ran into an angle-shooter. I recognized him as an aggressive, 'you all know nothing!' player from other sessions - too cool for the room. I didn't recognize that the dealer at the time was not in control of the table. I ended up heads up in a pot with him. What he and I agreed with in the last betting: I bet $20, he raised to $60, I made it $160. I won the pot. The rest was disputed for at least 15 minutes.

Several of the other players and I know: He slammed the table and said call. I showed the nut flush, he grumbled and mucked. The dealer started to push the pot my way. Before I had the chance, another player said - 'he needs to put in the $100'. Dealer says 'oh!' and reaches to him. He then says he put some chips in when he slammed the table, doesn't know how much but he doesn't owe $100. It degenerates into lots of people shouting and the dealer has no idea what the action was and keeps hesitating to call the floor until one of the players shouts 'we've asked you 10 times! Call the f'ing floor!' Meanwhile, the table looks like this: in front of me over the line are two stacks of 30 and a 100 stack (exactly as I pushed them out). In front of villain over the line are 4 stacks of 15, exactly as he'd laid out his bet. The mess of chips from the action before the last betting round in front of the dealer, over the burn cards. No sign of the odd chips he said he put in. The floor is mystified because all the dealer can say is she thinks he still owes the $100 but she's not sure. Villain keeps arguing he doesn't owe the full amount. Players mention the camera - I ask and the floor says the cameras wouldn't be able to see that action. !?! A couple of players say to the villain, why don't you compromise and put in $60 - villain jumps at the chance. Floor asks me to accept compromise. I say fine, stack my chips and take a break.

Just outside the poker room I run into MS, the guy from my table I'd played a lot with before who wasn't in his seat when this happened. I tell him about it and his advice is: We're the two biggest stacks at the table, he's got over $1300 and I've got about $1700 while all of the other players have $100 to $400 (mostly new at the table - $300 BI max) so there's not a lot in it for us anyway. He says he was going to change tables anyway and that it's not the best idea to stay at that table and target that villain from tilt etc.

I've never had this happen before - there are loads of river calls where the loser puts in the call chips after seeing they've lost. I guess my lesson learned is if I see the dealer is not on top of the game and the villain is questionable, make sure they actually push the call chips in before showing my cards. It's just never done in this room that I've seen.

Crazy bit is, after I changed tables, an hour or two later I had the same dealer who did the same thing to a different player - didn't know the pot wasn't right when she started to push it to the winner, but when told the call chips weren't in there and she turned to the loser he just paid up. I'll definitely be mindful when she's dealing at my table!

The other thing I learned was that errors come out in my game when I'm playing too long that are more subtle than what I was expecting. I lost a giant pot by not adjusting to the player I was against- I lose my focus on each individual at the table. So I've got another game check for myself when I take a breather away from my table: if I can run through the seats in my head and tell myself how I've observed each is playing then fine - if they're a blurry lump then it's time to go home.

Session stats:

Duration: 23:07
BI: $1650
CashOut: $930
<-$720>

Overall:

P/L: +$5005
$/hour: $29.97
hours: 167

Moving

 Big changes for me.  All I can say is thank science for modern technology so I can keep in touch with my friends and family overseas!

I'm trying something else new:

I moved back to Southern California on 28th February. Been gone since 1998 - living in Ireland, working hard and raising my children. Poker has always been my 'me' time. I'm very different from the rest of my family: My sister works hard, plans and trains, and goes off and climbs Mt. Kilamanjaro. I work hard, study and put in online hours and save up to go to London and play in the GPS tournaments. So, I moved back to the U.S. following a divorce and needing a job change (economy is really suffering in Ireland). I land here a week and a half ago and immediately start looking for work, from temping to applying for a chip runner job. Have to get some income started as savings definitely won't last forever. But my family, from my two teenagers to my angelic step-mother, all think I should give it a go making poker my job. None of them are poker players. I'm awestruck by my family's support and a little scared but I'm going to give it a go. I will still try to find a part-time job as I don't have a right sized bankroll yet, but for the moment, live poker is my work (and joy ) and I'm hoping making this thread will make my poker work even better, as reading other people's threads definitely does. When I was here in SoCal for a couple of months before (about 6 weeks at the end of 2012) I played live at the local casinos - San Manuel and Morongo. I logged every session into the Poker Income app. My current report is: Profit/Loss: + $5,725.00 $/hour: + $39.76 $/Session: +$301.32 Hours: 144 Typical game I play is NLHE 2/5 or 1/3 - BI $300 My worst session to date is -4 BIs (-$1600) and my best is +7.5 BIs (+$2250) (I would make the positives green and the negs red but I can't figure out the colors at this point ) I've played 22 hours over my last 3 sessions. (I wish the report included average hours/session) I'm off to San Manuel again in a few minutes - it's only a 10minute drive for me - but from reading other threads I'm sure I'm going to have to make the Bike and the Commerce as soon as I can.  First the Bike, I think, so I can wave to Knifeboy!